The Bachelor

"Meredith, don't you dare cry! That woman signed up to be on this game. She knew what she was signing up for."

"Dad, she really wanted to marry him. I just feel bad."

"NO! She knew this was guy was going to be dating lots of other women."

"I know it, but-"

"Meredith, this is not real life!"

"I know, but that doesn't mean it's not an interesting show to watch."

Madison smiled, "I think we should stick with Michaela's quote from when she was little.

"Jesus, I just love you so much I would marry you- but you live too far away."

Denying Yourself

Chuck Swindoll said something the other day while I was between Madison's dance and soccer practice. He told the story of a woman who brought her baby to General MacArthur. (Why General MacArthur...I'm not so sure. I mean Jesus is one thing, a war general, something totally different!) Anyhow, as this famous, decorated war-hero held up the baby he simply said, "May you live to deny yourself."

Ouch!

Have I taught my children to deny themselves? More importantly have I modelled it? E.e.e.e.e.w!

Now if you asked my children if they've been denyed, I can only guess they'd have a chorus louder than the Mormon Tabernacle, singing "yes."

Matt would tell about the time he had $5 for spending money at church camp ($1 a day for snacks) and every other kid in his cabin had $20, at least. (O.k., I'm feeling a little bad, here.)

Madison would tell of the time we went shopping between soccer games at a tournament. Her friend's mom generously pulled out two $20's and a casual "Have fun." Madison got a crisp 10 spot and a "Spend wisely cuz that's all your gettin'."

Michaela would tell of a high school soccer game when her friends pulled out a wad of cash while she was trying to decide on the popcorn or two red blow pops.

Meredith would remember the time a friend was spending the night. She complained we had no good snacks. My response, "What we have is what we have!" Her little friend got out her cell phone (of which Meredith does not have) and called her mom who within a matter of minutes brought over 2 blue Gatorades, 2 packs of gum, 2 boxes of red hots, 2 boxes of family sized bugles, 2 ring pops, 2 boxes of Oreos and 2 cans of Coke. Oops! Make that 2 20-ounce bottles of Coke.

All of a sudden I'm not feeling so badly. Maybe having a tight budget has actually been a blessing. Who would've thunk it?

The Beauty of White

It snowed AGAIN! Hearing that forecast made me shake my head and scream "No," inside, of course. Then afterschool on Thursday as I pushed the door open to head for home, my breath caught within me. Huge snowflakes danced in swirling frenzies before skimming the ground, already blanketed in white.

I giggled.

Exquisite, pure, tingly, radiant.

I am sick of winter. Yes! I am ready for spring. Yes! Yet, the beauty of white before me as I drove home made me shake my head and whisper, "You are something God!"

Presidents Day

Presidents Day - Family Day...pancakes at home, car trip to Springfield, "Mom, don't get grouchy. Do you want to start this day off bad?" "Wake up Dissie-Doo" in a tone I rarely hear the girls use with each other. "Michaela, that is a perfect fit. You have to get it!" "When are we stopping to eat?" "Madison, you got that Aeropostle sweatshirt for $10? Wow!" "Let's go.o.o.o. We've been in this store forever!" "Where's the bathroom?"

The sounds of a family day. I planned on blogging. I listened. I made mental notes. I listened some more. I noticed the little things. I talked less. I listened more.

It was good.

I enjoyed the moments of family day...all of them.

Thanks George and Abe...and Bobby. :)

Du-uh!

"We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us. We are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." C.S. Lewis

In my own peon words last March when the school budget cuts were the talk of all non-tenured teachers, "I know God will do what's best for me. I'm just not sure if it's Pizza Hut's pan pizza best or spinach and collard greens best."

That's a big difference. Quite frankly, I don't normally like what's best for me. I love dessert. I often order soup at restaurants because I truly do love Covey's Habit of beginning with the end in mind. My exercise is hurrying to the van to take my children from one place to another. My sleep...as stable as my daughters- aged 12 and 14. So much for 'good for me things.'

I want what I call best. At least I think I do...unless it has devastating consequences, things I could never have foreseen, things that would splinter everything that means most to be.

That's scary ground. I think I'll just tiptoe back to the high road thank you.

Yet, the good for me God is sometimes scary, too. "...We are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be."

Maybe "good for me" anything leaves me wrinkling my nose like a whiff of eggs in the hard boiling process. Maybe I should drop the word 'good' and simply go with 'the for you God.' That sounds alot better. Anything 'for me' sounds pretty good.

And that is precisely my God. He is for me! He is for you! He sent His son to take your bullet. He sent His son to take mine. That's love. Radical, Ridiculous, Insane!

So what choice to do I have? Trust my finite, limited, view of my life or give it to the all-knowing, all-powerful, fully loving, fully for me God?

In the words of my daughters..."Du-uh."

The Sneak Peek of Heaven

"Stars are the sneak peek of heaven," Michaela said the other night while we were driving home.

"What?" I asked.

"Stars are the sneak peek of heaven," she said matter-of-factly.



As we pulled into our driveway and parked, I quickly got out my daytimer and jotted it down. It was brilliant!



Yes, I have quoted Michaela before. "Winning is fun." Yet this quote was different, somehow. :)



"Stars are the sneak peek of heaven."

Truth is I've felt restless these last few weeks...antsy, bored. I'm guessing it's a cabin fever thing, a tired of winter and longing for spring thing. It's embarrassing to admit. Yet it is my reality. I've been praying these last few weeks, "Lord show me you. Following you is the great adventure...seeing you work, seeing you love, seeing you impact."

So how can I feel bored, antsy and restless? I must be missing something.



"Stars are the sneak peek of heaven."



I smile. A sneak peek of heaven...I envision Christmas cards from when I was a kid. Christmas cards where children stare wide-eyed in disbelief at the array of presents under a glistening tree...the first sneak peek of Christmas.



"Stars are the sneak peek of heaven."



This is the ultimate sneak peek.

Maybe a sneak peek of heaven is just what I need right now!

Bandaids

One of my favorite stories happened to a friend of mine. She has twin boys. They are in kindergarten this year. How precious is that? Anyhow, the one twin had a boo boo. His sweet brother ran to help and reappeared with a maxi-pad while announcing excitedly, "...the world's largest bandaid!"

It still makes me smile, just thinking about it.

Misconceptions...it's happened to me before. I think one thing, my husband thinks another. When he asked me to take Michaela to her soccer game on Wednesday night (and we both had meetings) I thought I was taking her and he was picking her up. He thought I was taking her and picking her up. Uh Oh! Misconception.

When I have repeatedly told my husband we don't do Sunday suppers, rather Sunday night breakfasts or snacks after night church. Then last weekend when we had the single missionary stay with us and I made homemade Monteray Jack Chicken Soup and he looked at me questioningly. "I thought we don't have Sunday night suppers?" he asked. Uh Oh! Misconception.

I told Matt to drink lots of milk since he broke his right foot over Christmas Break. Then when he comes home for his doctor's appointment last week and says the doctor said his foot has a ways to go. I asked, "Are you drinking lots of milk?" He replies, "A glass at each meal." "Three glasses a day" I complain. Uh Oh! Misconception.

When I catch my daughters putting their dirty dishes in the sink instead of the dishwasher and I give them the evil eye. They reply, "I don't have the kitchen chores today. I have the bathroom." Uh Oh! Misconception. (Although I know they really do know what they should do.)

Uh Oh's and Misconceptions! I don't like them! I wish I could fix them with my little friend's 'world's largest bandaid.'

I can't!

They will always be there. There will always be conflict! Shoot! For this middle child who hates conflict...Guess what? I hate it! I hate it more than scrubbing the toilet and cleaning up dog vomit put together.

Some misconceptions are real, like my first incident with my hubby. We truly were thinking two different things. Some misconceptions are cover-ups like my daughters and the dishwasher- responses to keep from getting in trouble (and throw Matt and his lack of milk drinking into this category, too.)

I know about cover-ups, too...my responses to keep from getting in trouble. They often come in the form of excuses or blaming somebody else. "Sorry girls, I was late to take you to dance because my meeting went long." (I can't leave when I need to, to take care of my family?) "Sorry honey, I was going to get your laundry done, but I just forgot." (Is forgetting a viable excuse? Or does it show the limited value I place on caring for my family?)

Yuck! What kind of a blog is this? I'm instantly not liking it! I hate misconceptions! I hate even more looking at my cover-up misconceptions! Getting real with myself may be the hardest job I have. It's one I avoid as much as possible.

Can we stop here? Can we go back to the light-hearted 'world's largest bandaid story?'

Unfortunately, once I've exposed my heart and it's weakness, I can't pretend I don't know.

My boo-boo is invisible, yet it's real.

Lord, only you can heal my sinful heart...and that's for sure better than the 'world's largest bandaid.'